There are some things that happen in life that are especially hard to overcome

Past hurts and traumas from events, relationships or childhood experiences can leave lasting painful impressions. These impressions can alter your sense of self and your ability to trust in others or even in life itself.

Memories that still hurt can cause you to avoid people, places and things that remind you of the pain. This can make your world grow smaller and limit your potential for growth and happiness.

Many people avoid getting treatment for this because they don’t want to relive the pain. Or because it’s hard to trust.

But living alone with it is hard too. Whether you have had a single life-altering event, a long-term strain/stress/abuse in a relationship, or complicated childhood experiences, there is always the possibility of healing.

Our minds want to heal, but they also want to protect. Protection in the wake of trauma comes in the form of numbness or dissociation, hypervigilance and avoidance. It is possible with treatment to help the mind to heal and gradually release the more extreme protective layers. This sometimes involves (as a replacement) learning healthy ways to protect oneself that are appropriate for the here and now). For complex trauma this can take a long time, but even gradual progress can bring relief and hope.

  Maybe you have had an experience that wasn’t life threatening or physically dangerous, but it still affects you. If it is impacting your happiness and relationships, then it is probably worth working on. In therapy language we talk about small t and big T traumas. The small t’s are experiences that might not be considered traumatic, like a break up or loss of a job, but you notice that you are not quite the same afterwards. Maybe you have become more self-critical, lost confidence in yourself, or feel disillusioned. Big T traumas usually involve experiencing or witnessing life threatening events, threat of injury or sexual abuse. Not everyone develops post-traumatic stress after such an event, but some people do. For some, it can become PTSD, which is a mental disorder (and more common than you might think). Both types of traumas are treatable.

  Complex post-traumatic stress is caused by adverse or abusive childhood experiences at the hands of parents or caretakers

When children learn that they cannot depend on their parents to keep them safe, nourished or loved, then it’s difficult to trust anyone. Often children blame themselves (a causal distortion) and work extra hard to be perfect so that it won’t happen again. Or they identify with the perpetrator and learn to be like him/her/them. But either way, the beliefs that form from such experiences are extreme and generalized, for example: “I am unlovable”, or “people are dangerous”. There are varying degrees of severity with this. Having just one adult you could rely on for understanding, love or safety could vastly reduce the severity of symptoms later in life.

My approach to treating post-traumatic stress is very specific to each individual and the type of symptoms they are experiencing. Evidenced based treatments such as Cognitive and Dialectical Behavioral therapy, and Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) to help clients modify or change old beliefs that are no longer accurate or helpful. For example, “I cannot trust anyone”, might be modified to “I can trust some people a certain amount”. EMDR can also help reduce the level of disturbance you experience when thinking or talking about the traumatic event(s). Control Mastery is a psychodynamic approach can help you understand and work through issues from the past that have affected your development and beliefs. I also have a background in different types of expressive arts therapies, which can be helpful when words are not enough.

No one fits in a box, and what works for one person may not work for another. After being in the field for over 30 years, I know that very well. You are the expert on your own experience, and my goal is to understand and learn what is best for you. Because different people need different approaches, I am always learning new ways to work with trauma and the field is developing all the time. If you have questions and concerns about the treatment options, that is completely understandable and encouraged. Feel free to contact me for a free 15 minute consultation. I look forward to talking with you!

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